This week

I had a bit of a Bridget Jones moment today, a right now right there that was the moment, moment. I stood at the bus stop watching the mothers taking their children to school under the new spring leaves. The morning sun was beginning to warm my back, as I stood their in last night’s rags and heals, desperate for the loo. My useless eyes thankfully blind to the looks on people’s faces, the jewels on my wrist doing nothing to hide my bagged eyes! Standing there, sick as a pig, I had my moment. My, it shouldn’t be this way moment. My, is this really how I want to be moment. But this is the point; I don’t have any evidence to the contrary to suggest that I am not this person. It’s getting past the point now that I can blame this on developing or youth, its getting to the point where, before long, this just becomes the person I am. Then what am I? I don’t want to be that any more, I don’t want to feel like this any more. To have crap nights and bad memories because I drink too much. So now i'v decided I don't want to drink any more. For a few weeks anyway. Problem is, these life defining moments seem to happen once a week for me. Tomorrow I might have another one and decide something else is hugely important. For today its TV, Exams and a takeaway.